Baking Christmas Cookies

Libby and I baked Christmas Cookies yesterday....

 

 

Rufus waited in vain for a sample.

 

My New Hobby

I needed a hobby.  Something I could do easily while sitting in my recliner watching TV.  Something to help me relax.  That's when it hit me.... I should crochet an afghan this winter!

 

Instead I decided to start smaller.  I bought some 100% cotton yarn in some pretty colors and got to work making dishcloths.  I had to watch a tutorial online to help myself remember how to do the basic stitch.  At Christmas when I see my mom again, she is going to help me learn some more complex stitches (right mom?)  Right now I am enjoying my new hobby so much.  I got a cute little basket at my store and set it beside my chair.

I can't wait to get enough practice so I feel I am ready to start that afghan!

 

And here is my first completed dishcloth.  Go me!!!

More Kingdom Thoughts

Two Saturdays ago, I went for the first time with my friend M to pass out food to the homeless outside a local homeless shelter.  It's an informal, early morning thing.  (I don't generally embrace the early morning).  M and his friends bring the food that is left over from the week at the recovery center where he lives, and for which I work, and passes it out to people leaving the homeless shelter on Saturday mornings.  Another church group showed up with sack lunches and some coffee.  M lead a devotional.  One of the homeless prayed.   We also brought coats and socks from my store.  Afterward, back to tent city to pass out some more necessities and then to breakfast as a group.  I was feeling a bit of a spiritual high.

Unfortunately, it was while I was at breakfast that I got the call from Sarah about her friend Kaitlyn being in a horrific car accident the night before... so I gave my bill and money to M, asked him to pray, and left in tears... anxious to get to Sarah and to Kaitlyn.  Spiritual highs are often fragile things.

Kaitlyn's head injuries are severe and she is still in a coma two weeks later, but is responsive to commands and is holding her own despite initial reports that she would not survive.  I pray every day for this girl who is like a child of my own.  During our last visit to the hospital in Nashville to see her, I could not go in to visit due to bronchitis, but the girls who visited her came out all smiles.  Which made me happy.

Many are praying.  Her friends have raised a tremendous amount of money to help the family with expenses.  One teenage boy at Sarah's church gave $50 out of his own pocket.  I see God at work in this situation.  In his kingdom.  Using his people to reach out to this family.  And to heal Kaitlyn.

But it has been so hard.  A visit from my parents was so nice, but then they had to leave and I got bronchitis (again) and, well... life is getting me down.  I'm just going to be honest. It's a rough time.

So this past week, I decided to go and be with the homeless again and decided to take my own contribution... homemade cookies.  I didn't feel much like making cookies since I was getting over bronchitis, but it's amazing how, in God's kingdom, you GET BACK so much more than you GIVE.  Service to others is one of the best anti-depressant drugs out there.  Not only did I make people happy with cookies, I also got to spend time outside of work with the guys from the program who I love and pray for daily.

 

It wasn't such a spiritual high this time, more just like a kick in the pants to get over my self-pity.  Thank you God for all the blessings you have given me.  Please be with Kaitlyn and bring about a miraculous healing in her life!  Thank you for letting me work in your Kingdom and keeping me safe there.  It is a pleasure to serve you.

Kaitlyn

The last time I saw Kaitlyn before her accident, she was at our house and I was laying on my bed watching TV and she came and got right in the bed with me and curled up really close to annoy me.  I said in my "joking grouchy" voice, "Kaitlyn, get the crap out of my bed".

If I had that moment back, I would kiss her forehead, tell her I love her and THEN tell her to get the crap out of my bed.  :-)

Me and Kaitlyn

The time before that when I saw her, I was eating at the restaurant where she is a hostess and she came over to me and said, "Mom, can you give me $5 to buy a new tie for my uniform?"  I grumbled and handed her a twenty and told her to bring me my change.

Kaitlyn lives life to the fullest.  She is funny and smart and caring and rowdy and annoying and beautiful!

She is like a member of our family. Over Spring Break, she went to the beach with us.



Sarah, Kaitlyn and Libby in Gulf Shores

Twice now I have taken her with me when I went to Michigan without my own kids and dropped her off at her grandparents house, because they live in Michigan. 

Kaitlyn and Rufus on the way to Michigan

We spent the hours together laughing hysterically.  She made signs to hang in the window.  We took videos of us acting silly.  The most recent time over this past summer, we sang Taylor Swift's "Last Kiss" over and over and over.  Now when I hear that song, I think only of Kaitlyn.

Kaitlyn letting the world know Hell Is Real

She is Sarah's "Forever Friend". 

Kaitlyn and Sarah.... Forever Friends

And Jacob's first "girlfriend".

Kaitlyn and Jacob at church a couple years ago

And Libby's second older sister.


Libby and Kaitlyn

We love you Kaitlyn!!!!  Get well soon and come make us laugh again!!!!

Seeking the Kingdom

So, since my last post, I have been seeking God's kingdom and righteousness.  Being a straight-forward kind of girl, I thought about how one typically goes about "seeking" something and one thing I think I would do is just to ask someone where it is.  One night in (boring) Legal Research class, I was thinking about it and just decided to ask.  I even wrote the question in the margin of my notebook.  (I'm a doodler).

One thing I know about God is that if you ask him an honest question about his kingdom, He will answer.  He will never leave you to wonder.  And you won't have to wait long.

Recently, my friend M, who...
- was once homeless himself
- is now in the recovery program for which I work
- who now has a passion for the homeless in our city
- and who works for the man next door to my store

.... asked if we could start setting aside the winter coat at my thrift store that we are going to salvage, so he can take them to the homeless.  I agreed (and the boss agreed) and my only stipulation to him was that he collect them regularly because I don't have alot of storage space.

Late in the day yesterday, he came into the clothing room and asked me what I was doing after work.  "Nothing.  Going home.  Watching TV", I replied.

"Do you want to drive me to tent city [homeless "community" under a bridge] after work so I can distribute some of those coats and then you can take me home?"

What?!  Don't we need to sign up through an agency with the city to do that kind of thing?  Clear it with the elders?  Plan it at least a month in advance and get a big group together?  Sell candy bars to pay for the trip?  Pray about it?  Order matching T-shirts?  Something???

We can't just show up under a bridge and hand out coats.  We'll get shot.  Mugged.  Raped.  Eaten.

"Tonight?!  Right now?  Just like that?" I asked.

"Yeah, it won't take long.  I know who needs what."

"Okay....."

So after work, we gathered the coats, and my friend L came along with us once she heard where we were going and I drove us to tent city.  I didn't even know where "tent city" is.  Turns out, it is under an expressway that I have driven over 1,000's of times (often on my way to church) and I had no idea it was down there.  There were perhaps 20 tents at the most.  Little "households" set up.  And M used to live there. 

L prayed in the back seat for God to protect us.  I felt surprisingly at peace.  I think it's because M used to live there so I know he wouldn't take me some place too unsafe.

And we got out of the car and M said to the huddled people, "Hey, we've got some coats" and they came and took coats and were grateful and chatted and hugged us and we left.  Changed.

I ask and ask and ask God what he wants me to do about "church".  Which one to go to?  Where do I fit in?  And I haven't heard any clear answers- I admit I am quite frustrated by the whole thing.  I am perplexed, because one thing I know about God is that if you ask a question about his kingdom, He will answer and never leave you to wonder.   So why do I wonder which church to go to?"

And last night I realized that "church" is not the kingdom.  It is something all people in the kingdom should do.  And I believe I will find the right one eventually, but I believe more strongly that God has me where He wants me right now... "churchless".... so He can teach me about the Kingdom.  The kingdom that lives in the hearts of his people... the ones who know the homeless, even though they are all strung out on drugs and drunk on alcohol.... need basic necessities.  They are cold and hungry.  And that means tonight.  That means, put the coats in the car and let's go now.

It is in the heart of the nephew of my best childhood friend who received a death sentence from cancer at 13 years old and knew that only left him a few years to preach about Jesus and share the Good News... and so he did.  And as he lays dying, thousands of people are hearing his story on Facebook and being encouraged.

It is in the hearts of the ones who welcome foster children into their home.
It is in the hearts of the ones who smile at the sad-faced, grumpy cashier at Walmart.
It is in the hearts of the ones who are on the college campuses sharing the good news that changed their life.
It is in the hearts of the ones who work in recovery programs where the rewards are few and the work is hard.
It is in the heart of the hockey coach, who, a couple years ago, prayed with my son who was crying in the penalty box.

It is in the small things, usually.  In the "Here's a coat and a hug".
It is a perspective.
It is action.

It is time for me to go to work.
Ha ha.

Sorry this is so long, but when you get a taste of the Kingdom, you want to tell about it.

Seek Ye First

Most recent conversation between me and my very patient therapist who has put up with me for over three years and knows more about me than anyone should:

Me:  "I am so overwhelmed by life right now.  I have no peace.  I want to lose weight.  I need to handle my money better. I can't even afford to pay for this visit today.  My job is stressing me out.  I don't have a church family anymore.  I don't have any friends.  I don't have time for any friends even if I had them.  My house is a mess.  My physical family is 600 miles away.  I am struggling spiritually.  My bff in Kentucky is sad.  My bff in Huntsville is sad.  I am tired of being alone.  I hate having to pay bills.  I hate making decisions by myself all the time.  I am lonely.  Did I mention I am fat?  How did I get fat?  Why can't I lose weight?  I can't stick to anything.  I don't know what to do with my life.  I don't want a career, but I am forced to make one.  I don't know what career to pursue.  I need to spend more time in meaningful conversation with my kids.  I spend my days running all over the place.  I have college classes, homework, many things at my job to think about, many things at my job I am not good at and I question whether I should even spend the time to be.  I am tired all the time.  I am not exercising.  I'm too tired to exercise.  So-and-so made me mad.  Then this other so-and-so made me mad.  And I am SOOOOOOO tired of dealing with so-and-so, you have no idea.  I keep making bad relationship choices. I am not close to God right now.  I don't even have time for God.   I miss my mom.  I miss my dad.  I miss my sister and brother and aunts and uncles and cousins and nieces and nephews and my best friend from college.  I hate eating out so much, but I am too tired to cook..... blah blah blah.  Yada yada yada".  

My patient therapist, nodding sympathetically:  "Well, where do you think you could start to get this stuff under control?"

Me:  "START?????  Are you crazy?!  There is no place to start.  Everything is a mess.  I am completely overwhelmed... I wouldn't even know where to start!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I just want to go to bed and pull the covers over my head.  This is what I am trying to tell you... I have no idea where to start!"

My patient therapist, gaze fixed on me:  "I'd start with Matthew 6:33".

Me:  [crickets chirping]

My patient therapist:  "Seek ye FIRST the kingdom of God...."


Sometimes we just need a reminder and I'm thankful I got one.

Quick Update

Travel Hockey is in full swing and Jacob spends alot of time in the car going to and from the ice rink and to games and tournaments.  He amuses himself by taking his own picture.

 



Sarah with her date, Jessie, on their way to homecoming.



Libby and her friend, Brianna, ready to go to homecoming.

 

Libby's pretty feet for homecoming.



Libbinardo Newvinci is back in art class and I feel she has real talent.

This is my textbook.  I spend alot of time with it. :-)