It hit me tonight while Pine-Soling the bathroom and listening to Chris Tomlin.... out of the blue and as if someone punched me in the stomach....
Beth is moving to Kentucky in a few days.
Within the past couple weeks, I have visited her in Kentucky and seen her new place, spent some time with her new love and decided he is worthy of her (and me!), spent time at her house here helping to pack, clean, babysit... laughing, talking serious........
....why the delay in the realization that my kindred-spirit friend is moving away?
Denial probably. I've suffered enough loss. I can't imagine more. And now that I have (imagined it)- the familiar dull ache of loss is more than I expected. What I am saying is that it just hurts.
She is off to a new life in an old place... living in her grandma's old house, closer to Chris and Nancy... doing what is best for her and her little munckin with the bright blue eyes. She has been through so much and I see only brighter days ahead for her and that makes me happy.
But... who do I have in my life who will ride a carousel with me.... and enjoy it?
And what will I do without this preschooler to brighten my day ever so often?
I got to lay down and take a nap with him today. As I pretended to sleep, his jabbering slowed and then he took off his socks and laid them, one by one, on my arm... then fell asleep next to me. Who will lay their socks on my arm when Sam is gone?
Who laughs at the most inappropriate times with me? Who "gets me" like Beth?
Facebook, cell phones, email.... true. In 2010, there is no way to lose someone you choose to keep. And then there's always heaven. But...... Just but.
My Dear Friend,
Miss you I will, sad I am.
I hope to see you soon, and we will talk face to face. Peace to you. 3 John 14
4 comments:
so sorry....i know that feelin when friends move....
Do you remember when we first really figured out that we were "kindred spirits"? I think for me, it was when I came to your house after class one day and you were laughing and laughing about a belated birthday card (in March or April, mind you) that you had gotten from "Coyote, wild and free".
Oh, and... I hate you. There, does that make it any better?!?!?!?! ;)
I think the Coyote card might have been my first clue. Or maybe it was the first couple times I tried carrying on a conversation with you and discovered you really don't like talking to people you don't know... or after that, I found out you like to pass notes in church, and being quiet and reverent is optional. Or maybe it was time spent comparing our mental illness medications... ha ha. No! I think it was that time that you, about to graduate with your teaching certificate and me with three children... you asked me if I wanted to open a daycare with you and I said, "I don't really like children" and you said, "Me, neither!"
And I hate you, too. See? Just another thing we have in common!
Brenda - you are making me cry! I know what that feels like - when we lived in Michigan, I was so lonely for friendship after I had Jacob. We were living on Selfridge Air National Guard Base, and I finally found there - the best friend. We even had boys a week apart in age. She lived right in the next building - and her little back patio butted up to the playground. Well, as with the military - she moved. I thought I would never get over it. The pain I felt was so unexpected. Everytime I was at the playground, and look at what used to her her kitchen door, or her patio, that punched in the stomach feeling would come - I was so sad for months. Praying you don't take as long as I did to get out of that funk. Praising God that you DO have a kindred spirit though!
Post a Comment