Monday, October 31, 2011

I surely do wish you could have been in my mind last night as I drove home from a Taylor Swift concert in Memphis.  As the girls slept soundly, (it was very late)... wow.... I had some really profound thoughts and blog post ideas and no one to tell them to and no way to write them down!  What a shame.  The really, really good stuff is probably gone.  But I think I can salvage some with which to entertain you.

Can I just say on a side-note... it hit me about half way across Mississippi that most of my thoughts and feelings were of a POSITIVE tone or nature.  Things like..... possibilities and little blessings and silly little notions.

If you've stumbled upon my blog- this doesn't mean anything to you.  But if you know me IRL ... well... you know how straaaaaaange it is for me to have 3 1/2 hours alone with my thoughts and have them mostly be positive.  I mean... this is HUGE!  It can only be explained by the working of the Divine in my soul.

So.... over the next few days.... I will attempt to capture some of those things here- be they very tiny things or vast, complex things (don't worry- there weren't many any terribly complex things).  And also- just some general ramblings about the whole trip-to-the-concert in general because it turned out to be a really cool time.  I can foresee the excitement and anticipation that this has already caused you. 

Let me start with this... the concert made my girls (all three of them-ha) very happy!!

Me?  I'm not a big fan. Of her music or country music in general.  I thought she was a little strange (could have been cold medicine or something, though, as she was sick and fought back coughing several times... it's got to be rough to have to perform sick).  That aside, I've been to better concerts. And I think this boy who was sitting near us felt the same- his expression didn't change the whole time:

BUT- one thing I will say for Taylor is... she is very classy.  With a couple exceptions (and my standards are high), her songs are suitable for young girls.  And her outfits... very tasteful.  She can't really dance that I could tell- so she jumped around alot, but no overtly sexual gyrating (that's a funny word!) or flaunting (so's that one) about.  For a secular artist... I approve.  (And Need to Breathe was her opening act, although we got there only in time to hear the end of their last song... )

So I will leave you with that for now.  Because that is really enough.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Fall Fun Food

Pumpkin Muffins and Hot Tea

Friday, October 21, 2011


I am always looking for an easy fix
For quick-dry mortar to slap between the bricks
For the cake...... without the mix.
I don't want 12 steps, I want one.
I don't want pain, I want fun.
I want the prize, but not the race
I want healed wounds, but not the brace.

I want sobriety without confession
I want the truth without profession
I want none of self and all of Thee
Without the death required of me.

I want to love you with all my heart
But ..... keep back for myself a wee, small part.
I want the feast.... but accept the scraps
Believe the lies, ignore the gaps.

I want to want the things you give
To turn 
To pray
To hope
To live.

I want to learn that surrender is now
But also a solemn and difficult vow
To wake up tomorrow and choose it anew.

And only possible by power from You.

Monday, October 17, 2011


Rose victorious
Holy, glorious!


Rides a white horse,
Loves me, of course.

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Sunday Sunday

Sunday Evening.
For about 15 years of my life, our family spent every Sunday night with a small group from church studying the bible, fellowshipping, eating.  Sometimes in our home.  Other times in others' homes.  These were precious times to me with friends I loved and friends my kids loved.
 Tonight I miss them dearly.
In those days, my concerns were only for my home... my kids and husband... cooking, cleaning, laundry.  And I still do those things, but they can no longer be my primary focus.
And tonight I miss them dearly, too.
And now?  Sunday evenings are usually about school studies for me.  Drop the kids at church, come home, study.  Alone.

Tonight I finished a paper on Professionalism in the Workplace and submitted it.  Next on the agenda... working study problems for my Statistics midterm that I must take by sometime tomorrow.

Instead of lots of kiddos sitting at my dining room table eating their pizza rolls and cheese dip, laughing and making a mess.... this is my dining room table.....

These moments.... are sooooo hard.  When I realize where I've been and where I currently am. And the comparison is often not pleasant.  And I MISS the past. 
 And I KNOW not to focus there.  I know there are good things in the present and future and I know where my focus should always be:  Jesus.  But occasionally I indulge the sadness.  And write about it on my blog.  And give it to you.  And God.

Professionalism and Statistics?  Really?  How did I get here?

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Solitary Confinement

I've discovered a new indulgence.
Thanks to Netflix (streaming) I have an endless supply of them. 

One on Solitary Confinement was especially interesting (and by "interesting", I mean disturbing) as I sometimes feel I will go crazy when I am home alone for a day or two at a time without human interaction.  The men in this particular prison go years alone at times until they can "prove" they deserve to re-enter the regular prison population.  That right there is disturbing enough.  Imagine working toward the goal of returning to "regular prison".

But these guys spend 23 hours a day in alone in a small cell.  Their meals come in through small slits in the door. Once a day, they get moved to an exercise room where they spend an hour alone.  They never get to go outside, though each cell has a small window through which the sky can be viewed .  The guards talk to them as little as possible.  No one touches them except to handcuff them. They have to "earn" priviledges such as books and TVs.

They find creative ways to communicate with the other inmates... such as slipping notes into little pockets they carve in the covers of the library books or using a string to dangle a note to a cell below.  It doesn't matter to them who answers... they crave human interaction so desperately- they are happy for a word from ANYONE.  Sometimes they act out just for the attention- verbal and physical, even though it means they will lose the priviledges they have already earned.  :-(

After watching the documentary, I have decided that I oppose long-term solitary confinement as a reform technique. A day or two.  Maybe a week.  After that, I believe serious mental illness sets in.

Loneliness hurts.  And it hurts worse the longer it persists. 

And they said something interesting in the documentary that I've been turning over in my mind. They said loneliness is painful for a purpose.  It is nature's way (and by "nature" they mean God) of making people reach out to other people.  Because it is not good for us to be alone.  We need each other to thrive.


Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Liked this.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Pictures from Michigan

The capitol building.

Went with Melissa to college so she could take a test- got some studying done myself.

Apple tree in my parents' back yard.

Me and my Tiger-fan mom

 Me and my dad.
Went on a walk in the woods at Melissa's.

Dirt road behind Melissa's house.  Why are there no dirt roads in Alabama?

 Lake we found on the walk through the woods.
Walking in the woods.

David had to carry Rufus down one of the steep hills on the trail because Rufus refused to go down.  I wanted to refuse, too.
Claudia took Rufus down a slide.

Kelli taking a break.  ;-)

Monday, October 10, 2011

What a few GORGEOUS Michigan Autumn Days I just spent with my family.  Clear blue skies, vibrant leaves, cool temperatures (in the mornings and evenings- ha).... if I ordered exactly the kind of days I wanted when I decided to go to Michigan this fall, these would have been the days I ordered.  Gifts from a God who knows me intimately.

This tree is right near my parents' house.... and so much prettier and breath-taking in real-life than the picture captures.... but sitting tonight back in Alabama looking at the picture, what I notice most are the patches in the road.... reminders of what is to come after the beauty of Autumn.... and Michigan winters take a toll on Michigan's roads.  And now I just feel sad tonight.  Contemplative.  Melancholy.  Alone.  Missing Michigan.  Missing Family. Missing my kids. 

Because this is how you feel when you stop noticing the beauty and start focusing on the potholes.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Mums, the words and other fun things

(Jacob eats lots of cereal).
Libby and I played with shadows on Sarah's wall.
My mums are full of blooms- I know the mailman must love them!

(Isn't God incredible?)
I fixed my own lawnmower! My dad talked me through it over the phone over the course of a couple of days- trying various things. I disassembled this thing twice.
Cleaned the carburetor.
Replaced the blade... oh yes I did!
Cheezits and a Diet Coke were my constant companions.