Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Seek Ye First

Most recent conversation between me and my very patient therapist who has put up with me for over three years and knows more about me than anyone should:

Me:  "I am so overwhelmed by life right now.  I have no peace.  I want to lose weight.  I need to handle my money better. I can't even afford to pay for this visit today.  My job is stressing me out.  I don't have a church family anymore.  I don't have any friends.  I don't have time for any friends even if I had them.  My house is a mess.  My physical family is 600 miles away.  I am struggling spiritually.  My bff in Kentucky is sad.  My bff in Huntsville is sad.  I am tired of being alone.  I hate having to pay bills.  I hate making decisions by myself all the time.  I am lonely.  Did I mention I am fat?  How did I get fat?  Why can't I lose weight?  I can't stick to anything.  I don't know what to do with my life.  I don't want a career, but I am forced to make one.  I don't know what career to pursue.  I need to spend more time in meaningful conversation with my kids.  I spend my days running all over the place.  I have college classes, homework, many things at my job to think about, many things at my job I am not good at and I question whether I should even spend the time to be.  I am tired all the time.  I am not exercising.  I'm too tired to exercise.  So-and-so made me mad.  Then this other so-and-so made me mad.  And I am SOOOOOOO tired of dealing with so-and-so, you have no idea.  I keep making bad relationship choices. I am not close to God right now.  I don't even have time for God.   I miss my mom.  I miss my dad.  I miss my sister and brother and aunts and uncles and cousins and nieces and nephews and my best friend from college.  I hate eating out so much, but I am too tired to cook..... blah blah blah.  Yada yada yada".  

My patient therapist, nodding sympathetically:  "Well, where do you think you could start to get this stuff under control?"

Me:  "START?????  Are you crazy?!  There is no place to start.  Everything is a mess.  I am completely overwhelmed... I wouldn't even know where to start!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I just want to go to bed and pull the covers over my head.  This is what I am trying to tell you... I have no idea where to start!"

My patient therapist, gaze fixed on me:  "I'd start with Matthew 6:33".

Me:  [crickets chirping]

My patient therapist:  "Seek ye FIRST the kingdom of God...."

Sometimes we just need a reminder and I'm thankful I got one.


MOM said...

If THAT is all you have to complain about... -: ) lol