I've been thinking alot lately about God. I've been reading a couple of books I found at the store : The Sacred Romance by John Eldredge (and some other guy) and A Place Apart: Monastic Prayer and Practice for Everyone by some Monk. And, of course, The Bible by Our Father in Heaven. "Set your mind on things above", God says. "Come to me at you will never be hungry again, believe in me and never be thirsty....", says Jesus, his son. And Paul says, "For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace".
And then tonight. Going through a box of tucked away memories- letters, stories, poems, pictures... from elementary school through college.
All through my life, I can see traces of WANT... of restlessness and seeking and an unsettled feeling, of HUNGER... of me chasing physical comforts like there is something out there that I am missing and if I could just find it, all would be well. This is The Sacred Romance that John Eldredge speaks of. It is God. It is not food or sex or a person or a church. God is absolutely the only thing that will ever fill that empty place of want. And the surest way to God is to be still and invite him in. Continually. Daily, hourly, by the minute. In a literal prayer closet or in the closet of your heart.
I know this. When I read it, I think to myself, "This is truth". When I hear it, I nod my head. When I type it, my mind is satisfied with my own wisdom.
But.... why then is the place in my heart still full of want and restlessness and seeking and so unsettled and HUNGRY?
His voice, his presence, his breath and his very being surrounds us every day of our lives. I just have to open my eyes to Him. I'm convinced this is why people love the beach so much. He is SO EVIDENT there. The vastness of the water, the relentless waves, the warm sand. It is easy to see and feel him there, even if you aren't consciously aware of what you are even seeing or feeling. The beach is God in plain view.
But I cannot live at the beach. I need to look for him in my every day life. In the flowers blooming in my yard, in the kiss blown to me from a child walking toward school, in the sensation of my fingertips touching the letters on my keyboard. I need to sit with him every day, in the early morning hours when the house is still and I can hear him... and I need to do this until I WANT to do it and until I cannot NOT do it. I need to "taste and see" for myself- that this Bread of Life truly does satisfy forever.