Sunday, December 27, 2009

I am ready for 2010. Actually, more specifically, I am ready to leave 2009 behind. (And 2008, too).

And I don't love New Years' Resolutions... because I never seem to keep them and I don't know anyone who does, either. But, I think a new decade is a great time to think about moving forward. There are changes I want to make. I want to be more organized, be more productive in my home, etc. And this is a big one... Sarah (my trainer) got me out of bed this morning before church and we went for a walk/run. It was more "walk" than "run"... but considering I haven't done ANY sort of exercise in months... it was a very good thing. And then I had her take my picture and I cringe as I share it but sometimes it's good to put "my stuff" out there. So we'll call this a "Before" picture and maybe by next year at this time, I will have an awesome "After" picture to show. At least I can tell the doctor the next time I see him, "Yeah, I exercised!" :-)

So, "physical training is of some value, but godliness has value for all things, holding promise for both the present life and the life to come". (I Timothy) It is harder to show you a picture of my heart, but I also hope to have an awesome "after" picture of that, too. I want in this coming year to know God more than I ever have. And to learn to trust him in ways I never have. Actually, TRUST seems to be a theme for me lately with God. And I mean the kind of TRUST where you really think one path would be easiest, but because you believe God's will is for another path, then you take God's path, submitting to his will (and repenting that you ever didn't), doing the next right thing, because regardless of how hard it is and how much pain you will experience (and already have), you TRUST God to know what is best.... that He is all you really need, anyway, and believing that so much that you welcome pain and find JOY on the hard path just because God is there. And you know He will use the pain to for your good, anyway. Even if it's just to draw you closer to Him. That's the kind of TRUST I want to have in God.

And I want to be like Aaron Shust when he says, "Everything I say and do, let it be all for You".

My plans for this:
-- Spend more time sitting with God and listening to him
-- Finish reading the bible this year
-- Memorizing Phillipians (I'm already in the process of this) and after that, memorizing more and more scripture.
-- Find a way to SERVE in the kingdom... something I have been very LAX about

So, WELCOME 2010 and whatever is ahead!

I wanted to share this Sara Groves song, as it resonates deeply with me lately:

Less Like Scars

It's been a hard year
But I'm climbing out of the rubble
These lessons are hard
Healing changes are subtle

But every day it's
Less like tearing, more like building
Less like captive, more like willing
Less like breakdown, more like surrender
Less like haunting, more like remember

And I feel you here
And you're picking up the pieces
Forever faithful
It seemed out of my hands,
a bad situation
But you are able
And in your hands the pain and hurt
Look less like scars and more like Character

Less like a prison, more like my room
It's less like a casket,more like a womb
Less like dying, more like transcending
Less like fear, less like an ending

A little while ago I couldn't feel the power or the hope
I couldn't cope, I couldn't feel a thing
Just a little while back I was desperate,
broken, laid out, hoping You would come
And I need you And I want you here
And I feel you And I know you're here

You can listen to it here.

God is Good! :-)


Misty said...

God is so Good!!! I'll be praying for your success in 2010!!! Love you!

Jenna said...

Best wishes on all of your resolutions! :) Way to go for attempting to memorize Philippians... I'm working on it myself... slowly but surely! :)

Kristy said...

Oh what a truly beautiful post Brenda! I need to follow you to the track! Maybe I can talk Jalyn into getting me out of bed - ha! I'd have more success with the dog! Haven't heard that song - but will listen to it now! Praying for you...