Saturday, February 11, 2012

Up Too Early

I am up too early with too much on my mind and heart.  I think I don't have enough down-time during the day to process the things that need processing, so I just wake up extra early to do the processing.  Ha.  But I would much rather be sleeping than processing.  :-)

Here are the highlights of the things that are bothering me:
-Being single.  It has become OLD really quick.
-Questioning, once again, my career path
-Wishing, once again, I didn't have to be thinking about a career path.
-The nature of addiction.  The harm, destruction. The pull on my heart about it all the time.
-My children using bad language they did NOT hear from me
-The depths of love a mama has for her babies, even if they say bad words.
-Foster care.
-Loss. Always loss.
-The unfathomable, Almighty God
-Being much too fat
-Having to attend FIVE hockey games this weekend.  Love my little hockey player, but in the words of one of my hockey mom friends, "Is the season over yet?"
-Laundry.  Oh dear, the laundry I have to do.  Thinking about it makes me cry.
-The pain my friends are going through. 
-The Church.  Jesus's bride.  Why is she so complicated???  How can he love her when she so often spends her time on everything BUT him?
-All sorts of sickness

Okay.  That's enough.  I do feel somewhat better now.  Just making this list.  :-)  Maybe I can sleep for 1/2 hour more before it's off to hockey game #1!  Go team!


Melissa said...

I really thought things bounced off you better than that. I could write lists like that daily. Horrible way to live!!! My only advice is to pray. I have had actual calm come over me after praying to PLEASE let me stop worrying about something. Love you!!!